Relationship advice...I need men and women on this one! HELP!?

My daughters father and I have been together for over 10 years. We have a beautiful daughter together and had planned to be married by now. Over the time we have been together he has cheated on me numerous times. 5 years ago, he cheated and got the girl pregnant and I accepted it as hard as it was and we moved on, mistakes happen, she is a beautiful girl and i love her to death. We were on a happy path ( i thought) and now...3 months ago, i find out that he has another baby...a son.!!! Im devesated. This is the only man that I have ever loved, he says he loves me and that he doesnt want to be with these other females. He doesnt know why he keeps hurting me. My nights are long and i cant stop crying, he is my love and the father of my child, I wanted to give him his son, i really wanted too...but i cant, now another slut has given him what he truly really wanted..a son. I dont know if Im more hurt that he cheated or that someone else gave him a son....My heart hurts and Im so confused...I love him...what do i doRelationship advice...I need men and women on this one! HELP!?
cheating... one of the worst character flaws one can be afflicted with.


i know it's probably one of the hardest things you could ever go through, leaving you feeling used and betrayed.


if you can get past it, i would highly recommend you two go get some couples counseling. it could help you astronomically.


if you can't do that, sit down together and talk it out.


if there's any chance that he feels he could step out on you again, you may want to seriously consider if this guy is everything you think he is.


i'm so sorry that all of this is happening to you.Relationship advice...I need men and women on this one! HELP!?
Don't let this man ontinue to hurt %26amp; control you. You have given him 10 years of your life and he still hasn't married you! No, you can't go back and get the years you've wasted. But, from this day forward you don't have to give yourself to this man anymore! Get out of this relationship and get healed!
It might be really hard, but let him go. Do you want to be in a committed relationship with a man who has two other kids and has cheated on you on two different occasions? Your daughter shouldn't have to grow up in that kind of environment. Think it over and don't make a rash choice because of what people say on y!a.
You have already lost him. No loving father does that, ever!! You should know what is the next unavoidable thing you must do to continue with your life. Love is a 2-way street and if you continue down a dead-end, you will end up a nervous wreak. You have every reason to leave. You and your daughter have so much more in life to live and love. Don't continue to waste it on the wrong person.
Ouch. Besides your lovely daughter you have wasted 10 years on him? Why waste 10 years and a day? It's not likely that he will stop cheating. You need to decide if you are worth more than this. This is about picking yourself up and doing what is best for YOU. You are teaching your daughter how a man should treat her. However, if you do decide to stay...counseling is 100% in order.
THIS IS A HORRIBLE SITIATION FORGIVING HIM ONCE TOOK A BIG PERSON FORGIVING HIM TWICE TOOK A BIG PERON FORGIVING HIM 3 TIMES TAKES A DUMB PERON..... you need wake up and smell the roses stop crying he is not worth he says he loves you but he doesnt how can he yes everyone makes mistakes but this mistake is happening continuously digusting leave him and get your child away from him before you wreck there life too!!!
OMG!! Its just like you women to do this and give all other women everywhere a bad name.Seriously..The guy cheats on you and you think its your fault. AND YOUR MAD AT THE OTHER GIRL!!! WOW! What is this guy made of crack? He has two chidren by other people while he is with you and your sti with him. The answer is simple..GET A BRAIN CELL AND LEAVE HIM!!!
leave him, he disrespected you. he will do it again.





This is what Oprah said:





';avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.





he didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?';
i think for the better of you and your daughter you should leave him and find someone who respects you and doesnt cheat on you,,a great father for your daughter and someone who really loves you and doesnt just say it but really does.
he doesnt love you.





and you dont want to admit it


the truth hurts





thats another reason why he isnt marrying you, duh.


I know its had but you have to face it, a man like that isn't worth your time and tears.
dump his *** u deserve better and u know it u need a guy who really loves u and WON'T cheat on u if that man really loved u he wouldnt be with all these other girls anyways u dont need him. he cheated on u. leave his *** he don't deserve u
Leave him alone.. When you love someone you don't mess up like that twice.. You can find much better girl.. I'm pretty sure there are some men that would love to be with you.. I know it will be extremely hard.. But he's doing more harm than good..
I would leave....


Just staying would make things worsen and he may continue his accidental act.





If you wish to stay together, I recommend going to a Couple Therapy, and hopefully you guys can resolve your problems
You will not be the same, I think you need some time away from that relationship then see how you feel and see if more children pop up.
Time heals all, im sorry about this situation


=]


it would be nice if you could help me too


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/ask;_y鈥?/a>
obviously you need to drop him





he doesnt love you if he's doing this TIME AFTER TIME


No should ever hurt you that much





dont allow him to
Four words. Get the hell out. No more explanation needed.





Good luck :)
Tell him don't let the door hit ya where the good lord spit ya.
I am of the opinion that cheating is a character flaw and you should drop him...





also... is he black?
LEAVE HIM!!!! He obviously won't stop.
what a pig! Girl, drop him like he is a hot potato! Shame you ain't a black woman-you would of dash his dinner in his face! Gal get up out ov da place and forget dut iggiot!
im sorry a life like that sucks go get pregnant with someone else and tell him about it then leave him haha
he's doing it because ur letting him get away with it leave him
divorce.. is the only way. the problem is how old r u..
leave him...there are other fish in the sea..trust me!!
getting married wont stop the cheating at all... he wont stop ... is gonna continue ad continue.. i have a neighbor he has 11 kids different women's one of then is 23 and hes being married to his wife for 24 and has 3 kids with ...





they got divorced and she si happy now ... he child support is cheap because he Altoa lot of kids is only $80 per kid a month...because he has 8 kids under age.. so he still cheated she thought he was gonna stop ...





she stayed with him cause he swear he was gonna change... she loved him alot and they had together 3 kids so she stayed all those years with him.. lie after another lie she forgive him.. because she loved him and they had kids together..





she divorced him because a STD open her eyes about the MEN she loved ... now she is ok happy getting treatment.. so tell me you want that life for you?? that men is not gonna change..





i mean i was not raised by a father .. i did not died ... am alive living life fully...and thanking my mother to struggle with me and my sister and brother.





... GOOD LUCK
I'm so sorry that happened to you, it sounds really heartbreaking. Truthfully I want to tell you to leave this man because he may be the love of your life, but his cheating isn't only hurting you, but your daughter too. When I was 7 I knew that my dad cheated on my mom and it made me crazy with worry and I felt sick all the time.





Also, what if he sleeps with some b*tch with a disease? You need to be healthy for your baby girl! If you haven't been tested in a while, you may want to get that done. Then, you need to sit down with your man and calmly explain that you two should separate for a while and see where you are in a few months.





Separating may be the best thing for you - don't be afraid of being independent, make sure he will pay support for your daughter, and don't let her see you upset about her father because that will only confuse her and make it harder. If you decide to separate, you can get your daughter together with her guidance councilor so that she can talk out her feelings, chances are she is just as upset about her father's behavior as you are.





I wish you the best!
even though i am only 16, i wouldn't stay with this guy. he has gotten other pregnant. even if you can get over him cheating, there is no trust. dont just think about yourself though. put some serious thought in about your daughter. why havent you gotten married to him? Picture your life without him. try to look past missing him. time will take care of that. will it make your life easier? are you happier? do you feel better about yourself? is your daughers life going to be better?





good luck!





xoxo


molly
YOU love this guy?? You have got to be either nuts or living on some island--or there are no other men in the area. What in Gods name is there to love about this guy?? He Cheats but wants only you--what a joke--he tells every girl that line. I simply cannot believe this story and the fact that you want anything to do with him. Your heart hurts?? something else will hurt if he ever gives you a fatal sexually transmitted disease---I can't believe you. yes--mistakes happen--and he is the biggest mistake you ever made. Personally i think the story is made up--are you bored.???? don't write--i don't care at all--you got into this perdicament--I could care less.
I think that you should move on. I experienced this exact same thing seeing my father and mother's relationship. He cheated and had another child with a woman (of course I love my sister). He strung my mom along for 17 years telling her he did not want to get married to anyone ever again cause he did not believe in it (he had been married once before), then after cheating on my mom with this woman for about 6 months he married her. then he lied to my mom about it and she did'nt find out for a couple months. She then left him and they lived apert for a year. He then came back telling my mom he had changed and that his relationship with this woman was over. Then after they got back together, 2 years later she found out he had never actually ended it. She left him for good and although it was hard for her to get over him she relized it was the best thing for her. She is now in a relationship with another man and has never been happier. So even though you might love him sometimes the best thing to do is end the relationship and find someone who will truly love you and give you all of himself and be honest with you.
You said yourself that's he's cheated on you numerous times and it seems like it's become a habit. Is that the kind of role model you want for your daughter? You deserve someone who either cares about you more or has a little more self-control. You should respect yourself and find a healthier relationship.





I know from personal experience how hard it can be to leave someone you love for your own good and I can only tell you to trust me when I say that things will be a whole lot better for you.