I have 2 children and a husband.. I have been married for almost 8 years.. I have my husband very very spoiled.. He comes from work.. I serve him his food and clean up after him.. He tells me that he adores me and that he would never change me for anything, but this is the thing when it comes to our kids.... he is ... I could say very lazy to even discipline them.. we go out somewhere .. and he ends up enjoying himself..while I am so busy trying to handle my boys... they make a mess, he does not even bother to get up... I dont mind doing it.. but, whenever I am busy I would appreciate him getting up and doing something about it.. helping me out atleast.. I have to get mad at him so that he can get up.. he is more like a laid back person..if they make a mess .. o leave it.. if they are doing spider webs with toilet paper .. o leave it.. but, really when they piss him off .. he will scream from the top of his lungs and scare them.. just this morning I got up just to see that my 2 year old had poured garlic powder in my shoes, on his.. all over my entertainment center... couches.. my rug in the living area.. and then juice in my room.. I clean and clean and clean.. and it seems as if no one here values my work.. he doesn't even get up to help me or anything.. am I over exaggerating or do I need time off ... my kids..?
PS. I have been a housewife for 5 years.. Women with children and a husband.. does this happen to you? need some advice.. guys can definitely answer too?
sit your hubby down and tell him what's what. you need help with the kids he helped bring into the world and would appreciate being able to enjoy an outing without having to constantly worry about what the kids are doing or what they're in to. tell him you love being a wife and mother but you would like to be appreciated and acknowledged for all the hard work that you do for them.Women with children and a husband.. does this happen to you? need some advice.. guys can definitely answer too?
I think time off is great, but I think it is your husband that needs to change.
Have you sat down and told him calmly how this makes you feel?
I would suggest not tidying up after him and leaving all the mess around the house to see how he likes it!
get an outside job, show him you dont need him, give him a run for his money, guys do take advantage when they think they know you would never leave him, show him other wise, put the kids in day care there old enough and will help you not feel overwelmed, trust me.
I think you have spoiled your husband. You are right, he doesn't value your work, because he knows you'll keep doing it again and again and he doesn't HAVE to do anything. I think he loves you but you've allowed him to become lax.
Yeah your husband has to realize that you need a break too. I take breaks for myself and I am not even a housewife all the time, I work also. Every woman needs breaks.
This will continue to happen unless you do something about it. Put your foot down. Let them know you mean business. They will get the pitcher. Real fast. Good luck.
Wow that is a real problem. Can you afford to hire help. It sure makes life easier.
i know the feeling you need to take a day for yourself go to the spa get your hair and nails done
I often times feel this way myself. He comes home from work and lays around on the couch waiting for his dinner. I come home from work and the house is a mess and I am the one who still has to cook and clean! If I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done. I've even tested it once, I left the dishes undone just to see how long it would be before he made the attempt to clean them..well a week passed and finally I couldn't take it any more and washed them all myself. I sometimes get mad and yell at him for his laziness and he just comes back at me with ';well who pays the bills around here!'; I work too though!! Only part time but I also work at home with our kids! Drives me crazy! He does treat me to alot, like dinners jewlery and 'free days' which is nice but sometimes I wish he would just help out a little more than anything!
Advice? Ask him for a day or two a week for yourself, explain why you need this. Tell him that you are going to start looking for an evening job, this will scare him into thinking he'll actually have to be the one for once to make dinner. Start having your boys help out more too..(not sure how old they are) this will make him notice how easy helping out can be. Tell him he needs to step it up or step it out!!
Credit on domestic choirs should be given for someone working more hours on an income producing job.
How that effects the ratio of domestic work performed, between the parties involved should be formulated in a family meeting.
Don't forget to include the children when they are of age to help out.
The ';o leave it'; response from your partner is unacceptable, unless you like living in filth.
well since his job is to go out and work to support his family,its yours to clean up.to a point though.he should at least help out once in a while.as for the little one making a mess,well that's kids for ya.sounds like your a little stressed.take the kid to a babysitter and take the day off,relax.
He is used to you doing everything and probably doesn't even know your getting upset. You need to talk to him and explain that you would like some help. Quit serving him like he is your master, he's got that idea in his head and it will be hard to get it out. You don't have to be mean to him but stop serving him so much and start asking for his help. Have a small talk and explain how your feeling. Tell him to quit yelling at his kids and watch out for what they're doing instead. You need a break. Sounds like you got your hands full.
u re either a very lousy mother or u have not normal kids. maybe u should check them. i have 3 boys - never ever in my life any of them did smth similar what yours did. where did your child even get this garlic powder and juice? and 2 year old shouldn't have been left alone. where were u while he was doing it? sleeping? and i bet it took him for some time to make such a mess. where the hell were u? i have 3 boys i have never ever had such a mess in my house
I am in the same boat as you!! Holy crap, it is exactly the same except we have 2 girls! I don't know what to do either, he is a spoiled brat, mine doesn't even know how to get them ready for bed, it is very frustrating, I wish I could go back to work but he works a lot so neither of us would see our kids! And, I probably would still have to do everything! Good luck, I wish I had advice for you but I just learn to deal with it! I would recommend a weekend away with some friends and let him learn how to appreciate you! I wish I could do that but my husband would probably forget our kids at the store or something.
My hubby doesn't discipline ours either, he always has to be the hero, like telling them yes when I say no, or buying them things even if they are bad! I hate having to be the b!tch all of the time! And he is superman to them!
A lot of the time men think that if they're at work all day %26amp; you're at home all day that it's your responsibility to clean house %26amp; take care of the kids. I think my husband purposely tries to leave more work for me. The only time he helps me is when I throw a huge fit otherwise he doesn't lift a finger. I've been through this over %26amp; over %26amp; I don't think there's anything that will change his attitude towards helping me out. Same thing with the kids... : (
Well, my first question is do YOU discipline your children? What would make your child get into something and put it ALL over your house? Your husband is spoiled, I am a firm believer that we teach people how to treat us, and you have taught him that you will do everything, and until you blow its acceptable. Maybe if you sit down and tell him how you feel and that you would love a break he may see your side. However, I don't think I would leave them with him if he he is either ignoring them or screaming at them. Ask a grandparent or relative to watch them so you can have a break!
No comments:
Post a Comment