So my ex and i have been broken up for a while, (i am pregnant with his son). But since we split up he has been out sleeping with his ex's and doing things like that, but when he ';needs'; understanding or has something bad happens he calls me. He has lied about our son to people sayin he isn't his, and really dragged my name thru the dirt.
So my question is why does he still call me and tell me how much he loves me and wants to make things work? Especially when he is out with other females. (he knows i have no one else in my life so it's doesn't seem to be a jealousy thing)
Please someone helpNeed REAL advice, from ADULT men and women?
Think he probably loves you in a weird way and the fact he can still have you around/call you is great ....plus he can have his other females on the side is a added bonus. Figures your pregnant and not going to get another man right now, so he has you in a sense.
If you feel this way, tell him your going to move on and don't contact you anymore b/c he doesn't know what he wants (not committed to you). Good luckNeed REAL advice, from ADULT men and women?
I think he wants his cake %26amp; eat it to! Seems to me that its ok for him to sow his wild oats knowing that u r alone! How can he love u %26amp; want things to work but then slam ur name %26amp; ur child %26amp; disrespect u' talking poorly about his ';family';? Girl don't let
he is trying to keep you on a string so to say but he can do what he wants and he knows you will still be there to pick up the pieces for him you need to tell him to get lost and you need to go out and find someone of your own that will care for you and your kids
A child need a father.... but he is not up to take his responsibility as a man, husband and even dad to the child.. he been hurting you so much..... when you're pregnant did he care for you? All he did is slept with another girls.. he even not recognize his own child... that inhuman acts.... find another guy who love you more and can give you and your child happiness...
He knows you'll fall for it. You are his ';safe'; girl. He's out having all his fun right now, and he expects for you to always be there for him. He's just abusing your niceness.
if he drags u like dirt dont even care about what he wants in the first place. ur allowing him to treat u like crap. he's two faced. dont go to him. stay away from him and find u a real man.
get child support.
maybe he's just not comfortable with having a child on the way. it's really hard on guys, too. my bf didn't really straighten up until the end of my pregnancy and now that my daughter is here, he's been so great. i couldn't ask for him to be a better father, i just don't think its possible. maybe you should invite him over to talk about things or something? point out everything he does that you don't think is right and tell him it's hard enough to take care of yourself, much less someone else and that it would be really nice if he'd be there to help you. if he wants a DNA test, let him pay for it. no point in you wasting your money if you're sure the baby is his.
First of all, stop answering his calls. Just because you are the future mother of his son does not mean you are required to keep in contact with him personally, there are mediators for that sort of thing. He dragged your name through the mud and lied about your son because he is terrified of being a father. He doesn't want to be a failure so he'd rather make you look like one instead. He is also regretting the break-up most likely, subconsciously realizing that this is going to negatively impact the rest of his life. If he is truly willing to work on your problems, I'd get him to go to family counseling, there are free services in most metropolitan areas. However, you'll have to ask yourself, do you want to give him a second chance after how badly he's disrespected you and your child?
If you let it, this will go on for the rest of your life or until he grows up and settles down with a clean slate. I can't tell you why he is doing that besides he probably is one of the types that thrives on drama and chaos. Since you have a son on the way with him, being the understanding friend may workout between you to. I'm sure a friendship will be better the being enemies. just hold your breath until the baby is born and he sees him and realizes that is his flesh and blood. People will see it too and the ones that don't, don't matter anyhow.
(also, if your baby is due in July of this year, you may want to change it to 09) :)
Why does he still call? Because he can. And because you listen. I don't want to sound harsh but it's just that simple. I know because I lived it for 2 years with my ex husband. (%26amp; longer)
While we were married he had an affair with another (also married) woman, but kept going back %26amp; forth between us. He couldn't decide. Even after I broke it off with him %26amp; they married (a few years later), he continued to give me gifts, call to say ';Happy Birthday'; or ';Happy old Anniversary';, ';I still love you';....blah blah blah. I still loved him %26amp; it tore me up for a long time.
Back to you:when he ';needs'; understanding, he comes to you because you allow him to. You're real question should be why do you allow this to continue? You cannot change him regardless of whether or not you figure out his motivations. Nor can you change him hard as you may want to or try to. It's a waste of your time, energy and soul. What he wants from you is exactly what he's getting from you. He may not know what he wants, but neither do you.
What do YOU want? Why do YOU allow this to go on? Rather than ';finding someone else';, right now, find YOURSELF. Find your answers about what you want. Then you can begin to make choices to get there. It's not easy, I know. It's painful when you still love someone to walk away. But what's going on between you two is not ';loving'; behavior.
Children learn what they live. Do you want to teach your son that this is what a loving relationship is?
Wish I could put it in just the right words. And I'm wishing you all the best. Take care of yourself!
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